Feeding more than Hunger : Love, Care and Connection

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My husband told me a few weeks ago that I bend over backwards for my kids. That I never say “no,” and I will always find a way to say “yes” or “ok.” It completely took me by surprise, and honestly, I even felt a little offended because the Asian mom image I have about myself is strict! So, I had to think about my husband’s comment for a few days: “Do I really say ‘yes’ to everything?” Well, the answer was “Yes. Yes, I do.”

One thing that really stood out to me about my husband’s words was, “You will always make lunch for the kids. You hardly ever tell them to make a meal for themselves.” And it’s true. I am not sure if there is a cultural difference in this perspective, as my husband is a Canadian-born and raised Caucasian, and I am a born and raised (most of my youth years until mid-twenties) in Japan. I knew immediately that the topic of food and meals would be my next article.

One thing you and I strongly have in common must be about food. Both Hong Kong and Tokyo have outrageously delicious eateries. Even when we cook at home, because of Hong Kong’s wet market, and Japan’s supermarket experiences, our food on the table is not only nutritious but also very delicious. I’m not saying we should always eat healthy and home-cooked meals are the best. Sure, but I find that to be way unrealistic for parents. I don’t need to go into detail of the 256 things we have to do. You know how busy you are.

So, why do I go out of my way to cook something for my kids mid-day, in between my meetings with an increasing list of to-dos? This behavior comes so unconsciously for me, and probably for you, too, that when we make something for our kids, even if it’s a bowl of instant noodles, it’s the love and act of caring that, I feel, goes into the food.

It probably won’t be a wrong assumption to make that You and I both highly value having a meal together with friends and family, and that’s what we did every weekend while living in HK, surrounding a big round table with an abundance of dim sums.

Trying to recreate those cherished family meals without access to the same ingredients or restaurants we once enjoyed, our attempts remind us of the importance of the attempt itself, bringing a sense of home and tradition into our daily lives.

Practical Tips for Busy Parents: Microwave meals, Take-aways and Food Deliveries are OK

 If there’s microwave meal in the freezer, it means we thought about our kids somewhere in the past. In the midst of our hectic lives, it's okay to remember that take-away or food delivery can also be an act of love. On those days when cooking feels like an impossible task, choosing to order a meal is not a sign of defeat but a different way of saying "I care." It's the act of eating together, leaving food for them on the table, or even asking what they would like to order that counts. These gestures, though small, are significant expressions of thoughtfulness and love. They show our family that, no matter how busy we are, we're always thinking of them and their well-being.

Reflecting on my husband's observation has led me to see the value in these daily acts of feeding my family. It's not just about saying "yes" to cooking; it's about saying "yes" to creating moments of connection, to sharing love and laughter, even if it's over a simple, home-cooked meal, a delivered pizza, or a take-away sushi platter. These experiences, as unassuming as they may be, are the threads that weave the connection of our family life together. They remind us that sometimes, it's the simple, imperfect moments that are the most meaningful.

It’s in these everyday “culinary adventures” that our kids will remember what we did for them when they look back, understanding that feeding a family transcends the meals themselves—it's about the constant thoughts we have for our children, no matter how busy life gets. It's found in those brief exchanges, those micro-conversations that happen in the midst of our daily hustle, showing our care and concern. Moreover, it's in these moments that we create connection, where even the simplest question like 'What would you like for dinner?' adds to our bond. These instances, small as they may seem, build a foundation of family connection that our love and thoughtfulness are the true nourishment that keeps the family unit strong and united.

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